Rear Action


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Long time no see, eh?

It has indeed been awhile, what with the fall semester beginning, my bread-making career at Hamilton Bakery, crisp leaves to crunch, apples to bite, and clitorises to lick.  Namely {…only} the one of my current partner and loveofmylife.

Speaking of, lately I’ve found myself getting into little convos about Best Places to Have Sex, Best Ways to Make Your Partner Come, and Fun Tricks in the Boudoir.  See, these are always conversation sparkers for me… it just so happens that I’ve been running into people who want to talk about the same thing!  …Or maybe I’ve been less inhibited about bringing up elements of my sexual life, which in turn allows others to join in the fun?  Either way, it makes for great rainy day dinner date fodder at On the Hill Cafe.

Take Best Ways to Make Your Partner Come, for example.  {Somewhat} recently, we discovered the Trick of the Trifecta.  Now, this pearl {haha} of wisdom is not without a price:  once you use it, you may never go back.  My partner… let’s call them X… was very much against the Trifecta when I first suggested it, but now it’s one of X’s favorite ways to come!

Now… careful here, cuz you’re playing with a sensitive area.

Golden Rule No. 1:  I don’t care what stories you’ve heard from friends who had anal sex in high school or college or elementary school; the ass hole is tightDon’t go sticking a 2″ dildo up someone’s butt {or your penis, or even pinky finger} without some serious warm up.  And by warm up, I mean weeks… months, even.  Furthermore, every asshole is different.  What works for you may not work for your current and/or previous partner{s}.  To that end……….

Golden Rule No. 2:  Be respectful. Do not push your partner’s boundaries, be they emotional or physical, any more than you would appreciate yours being pushed {or inserted into}.  I know whenever I’m being rushed into things– whether it’s choosing a what I want for breakfast or exit on the highway– I tense up.  Same for assplay, or really any form of sexual encounter.  Maybe what you’re really interested in is licking your partner’s asshole {aka rimming}, or maybe you’re just itching to get that brand new purple dildo up their butt.  But please please please take a moment {or a half an hour} to discuss- and check in with each other while the sex is goin on- what you’re up for and how it’s feeling.  Nobody wants to tear a sphincter. 

Golden Rule No. 3:  Trim all fingernails before playing.  …Self-explanatory.

But look at me!  I promised you the Trifecta and by Damnit, I will deliver!

What it is and how to obtain orgasmic delight

R and I have {so far} discovered a number of variations on the Trifecta.  I’m sure there are countless more, and am very excited to do some more {ahem} research.  And please by all means, share your experiences!  Here, however, are a few to get you started:

1)  Lick, Dildo, Finger.  Begin with your partner laying down and licking their clitoris however they like best {this being after a little inner-vaginal warming up as well}, slowly inserting dildo or penis into their vagina.  Beware of tilted uteri, in which case a slight altering of your penetrator’s angle will do.  Once your partner is sufficiently moaning, lick/lube your finger {best to start out with the trusty pinky} and start circling their asshole.  This may tickle, in which case try pressing slightly harder to reduce non-wanted giggles.  When the giggles subside, it may be time to start pushing in your pinky tip, while continuing the circling motion inside the ass.  Continue as requested

*Remember folks, keep up the clit licking/ dildo thrusting at all times!  That’s why it’s called a Trifecta.  Assplay is auxiliary!* (Unless otherwise requested by partner)

2)  Finger, Finger, Lick.  Now, this takes a slight bit of practice to get down {hehe}, but can be quite.. er, satisfying once having had. Here, first focus on the asshole so that your partner can get accustomed to a potentially new sensation.  After all, we don’t go around with luscious tongues attached to our behinds {if only}!  Do it any way you want, but a full-butt and thigh massage might just be the anal relaxant you need for this trick.  After your partner is nice and loose, you can start rimming their asshole with your tongue {did I mention showering thoroughly beforehand?}, and then inserting it inside the anus, making the same circular motions you used before.

At this point, it may help to have your partner rest their butt on a large pillow {preferably one designated for Sex Time, as fluids are wont to come out}, knees up. Keeping the tongue going, use your pointer finger to begin massaging the clit, and thumb to insert into vagina.  **If you’re left-handed, try pointer finger= butt / thumb= clit**

3)  One more for the road… Suck, Finger, Finger:  This time, we’re gonna travel up North.  It’s Nipple Time!!!!!  **favoritethingfavoritething**  Now, you get to suck your partner’s nipple while working the tongue action as well as using one finger to insert into their vagina {making its way to the G-spot}, and another to gently press the asshole.  If you {and your partner} are feeling adventurous, try moving your fingers in the same “squeezing” motion, towards each other.  This diffuses pressure on both the perineum as well as vaginal canal, resulting in…………….


So riddle me this: what are your favorite tricks for bringing yourself and partner{s} to orgasm?